Giovanni is dead

2020.02.17, by Nova, Ansel, Anatolij, and Bedivere

[Ansel] …On the 16th we said goodbye to Giovanni’s kindness and his love for other people. We said goodbye to him as a person, to the kind of man that the two of us had wanted to be, and almost had been.

He was my brother.
No, more than that. He…

He was a person. A real, genuine person. The kind of person I’d dreamt of being. Someone who’d gotten past all the rage and—lived, as a human being. Among humans. He loved and I don’t think I’m capable of that. Not the way he was. Not anymore…

[Tolly] I wrote Cain a stupid letter afterward but it is too puerile to record here. The person who held such feelings for him no longer lives. And it might be cruel to further drag this out. Above all, though—I simply cannot be bothered.

…I take precedence. I need to be in the best shape possible to carry out future political responsibilities. […] Sacrificing good ideas for great ones. That’s the decision I’ve made. I’m not apologetic. I’m just sad that I led myself on for so long.

[Nova] Despite Giovanni declaring that he would reject any sexual or romantic propositions or advances as he was already polysaturated, Cain began flirting with Giovanni anyway. And being the sort of character he is—this is Ansel’s influence—he responded to that. Then the emotional bonds deepened, and that fed him, that, along with the information that Cain had shared on Fenrir, and that he too was otherkin. In short, a recipe for disaster.

That child is… was, far too easily enthralled by information and much too interested in the well-being of others.

We buried Giovanni. We bade him farewell, atop a mountain. We all ventured to the summit after him. Blast Ant and Ansel headed the group, of course. She and I argued over the value of these relations. I told her that any such ties she formed were insignificant, and only distractions.

“You’re wrong!” she said. “Because… Because we’re friends… Because a long time ago, when you were messed up, we made friends with you and—”

…And I told her, it was a pattern. Giovanni’s pattern. And that I was proof of his dysfunction. And Leotrim chimed in, and stated he was also proof. That hit Ansel very hard, as well.

[Bedi] I’m hoping that those two don’t lose all their kindness. I’ll still support them, either way, but… it’ll be a little sad to see them completely cold.