Slowly

2020.04.13, by Ansel and Blast Ant
Filed under Journal, Personal, PTSD

[Ansel] It’s been really hard keeping it together. Every now and then it hits her—that her parents could have left her to die—[…]

…She’s fallen asleep. In the meantime, we’ve been working on Giovanni’s cookbook some more. It’s a product of grief at this point. The physical embodiment of…

…No, I can’t think like that. I have to keep it together.

I think she’s calmed down. The █████ Discord we joined must have been a mistake. When it comes to politics, or transphobia… any community ends up being a mistake. I think she should just focus on drawing, and make friends around her art. That’ll probably be the best thing to do.


Her writing has improved. It is not completely neat or beautiful, like her regular handwriting, but it isn’t the unsteady round-scrawl from the middle of her meltdown.

[Blast Ant] All these wounds… Like countless cuts on my mind…

…I feel a bit better. Maybe when we get home, and eat, and draw… I. We really need to focus on ourselves. Keep others at a distance, unless they engage with our art. That’s it.

We’ll work some more on the cookbook, maybe start watching Record of the Lodoss War. Ah, some time ago I quit the █████ Discord too, for the same reasons. And of course that Discord of █████. I think that’s how his name was spelled.