The US cannot wage war with so many of its workers out of work. I assume the pandemic has adversely affected war logistics; and a sick navy cannot fight. The Senate House has just formed a China Task Force to analyse Chinese threats to national security, including “its role in the origin and spread of COVID-19”. The latter is bullocks, but a significant warning.
Trump’s “Bay of Pigs” in Venezuela… When will war come, when will war come? I wonder if the Democrats have given up on pushing their anti-Russian line… At least, I’ve barely heard a peep from them about Putin.
I am listening to Chucho Valdés. Cuban pianist… Eric loved his rendition of Chopin’s “Prelude in E-minor”. I wonder if he ever thinks of me. I realise now that I did not love him and Andrew for who they were as people, individuals, but for being great, principled men. I yearned for the chance to grow and work alongside them. It was the same with C. I did get to know her, as a person, but above all I wanted to re-enter life. The old one that I had, the old profession that I had… Ansel was the exception. But in his own way he saw her as an avenue to build his own life…
Ansel and I are not fundamentally different. He and I both wished for and south companions to live with. Our difference was that his life’s project did not involve [what mine did]. Even so, he and Bedivere—are my true companions. We will heal, better ourselves, and walk steadily, unsteadily towards the future.
I expect him and Akihiko to █████ in the future. After learning to live and find joy without others… I want to dance with him again. We need to live.