Today, I’ve just met a tree named Philop. Not Philip, but Philop. He’s quite a nice tree. He doesn’t speak English, in fact he doesn’t speak at all, but instead, communicates via telegram in Treenglish. I asked him if there were any Treenglish-to-English dictionaries I could consult. He said there were none, no one had written any. At first he was quite defensive over the fact that he wrote and sent telegrams. He spoke—telegraphed—as if I were interrogating him. And I was interrogating him, to be sure.