Waiting for October

2020.11.08, by Anatolij
Filed under COVID-19, Gardening, Journal, Personal, Relations, Silhouettes

Living with brain damage is so very difficult. At least for me it is—I’m used to being a prolific reader. And a prolific writer. Now, there is only so much I can do before I cause myself physical pain from using my brain too much. Should I persist, I’ll suffer aphasia and dysphagia, various neuromotor difficulties, and sensitivity to light; the usual autistic burnout symptoms. I am not sure how other people can live. I have co-workers who openly admit—without any shame—“I don’t read,” “I’m not a reader,” “Most of the news I get from TV, so I’m not very informed(!).” I genuinely do not have the physical capacity to “patiently explain” to these people. And they are not even brain-damaged! I do not understand… Has modern capitalist life rendered them so dull? But why aren’t they curious about anything, why aren’t they dissatisfied with what little they know?

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